Low Blow
by Anasazi Darkmoon
Summary: Oneshot. Reeve was having a good day, until he found a strange woman in his office. Why was she glaring a Cait Sith with such animosity? He didn't know, but was about to find out. Rated M for language. No pairings.


**Author's Note:** I don't own Final Fantasy VII, or any of its characters. Let it be known here and now that I absolutely adore Reeve Tuesti, but…I despise Cait Sith with the unholy passion of a thousand hells! This story was born from a horrible occurrence that took place last week. I was playing FFVII, and I was traveling through the sunken Gelnika plane, and had Cait Sith in my party because of my OCD need to level _all_ of my characters up at an even pace. During one of the battles, Cait got his limit break, and I used it, and MY WHOLE TEAM DIED! I stared at the screen blankly, and then screamed several threats at the TV, one of which inspired this story. Flames will be laughed at/ignored/used to toast marshmallows. Other than that, I hope you enjoy this.

_Low Blow_

Reeve Tuesti's day started out like any other day. He woke up, drank a cup of coffee, and headed off to the WRO Headquarters. Since the defeat of Deepground and Omega, life had pretty much returned to normal, so aside from the occasional crises, which usually involved one Yuffie Kisaragi and her sticky fingers, Reeve had more free time than he was used to having. During the first few weeks, he nearly drove his subordinates insane, until Yuffie called him a "meddling old grandpa". After that, Reeve backed off, but kept his phone with him at all times, in case there was an actual emergency that needed his attention.

When he wasn't dealing with paperwork, or Yuffie, or the now-rare actual emergency, Reeve liked to tinker with Cait Sith, his robotic cat, in one of the old offices he had converted into a workroom. It got him out of everyone's hair, and gave him some peace and quiet…most of the time. After a quick lunch, Reeve went back to the workroom, only to find that it was not empty. A dark figure stood in the middle of the room, staring at the now-inactive form of Cait Sith. "What are you doing in here?" Reeve demanded, more than a little curious as to how someone got past security.

The figure looked up, and then pulled its cloak off, revealing a tall, heavyset woman in blue jeans and a green t-shirt, who stared broodingly at Reeve for a minute or so, before returning her attention to Cait Sith. Reeve watched her carefully, and edged closer, reaching for his handgun as he did so. Sensing the movement, the mysterious woman looked up at the WRO leader and said, "I don't have a weapon." Then she gave him a self-deprecating grin, and added, "Besides…as big as I am, my fat ass would have to sit on you to be an effective assassin."

Reeve paused, somewhat surprised by the statement, but did not take his hand away from the gun. "Well, what are you doing here?" he asked, nonplussed by the woman's behavior

Instead of answering, she motioned for him to come closer. He took a step forward. The woman rolled her eyes, and then waved her hand again. He sighed exasperatedly, and took a few steps forward. The woman did not move. "Well?" Reeve demanded, irritation coloring his tone.

The woman smiled sweetly, and then, without batting an eyelash, kicked Reeve in the balls! Reeve's eyes nearly popped out of his head and his mouth silently opened and closed like a landed fish as he collapsed to the floor, clutching himself as he writhed in agony. As he lay there, his assailant finally gave vent to her rage. "I loved you, you bastard!" she spat, glaring down at him. "You're one of my favorites, and I loved you, but your fucking cat killed me!"

Reeve might have wondered what the crazy woman was talking about, if not for the horrible pain still throbbing in his groin. He might have reached for his gun and shot her, too, if not for that same pain. Before he could do anything besides catch his breath, his attacker knelt down beside him, grabbed his gun, slid it across the floor where he could not reach it, and then gently patted his cheek. "It's okay," she told him calmly. "I forgive you."

She got to her feet again, turned back toward the table, and picked up Cait Sith. "However, I don't forgive this little piece of shit!" she snarled, before hurling the doll into the far wall.

Upon impact, the little cat's head fell off and flew several feet before hitting the floor and rolling to a stop next to a wastebasket. The rest of the body slid down the wall and slumped to the floor in a lifeless heap. Apparently satisfied, the woman grinned, and hissed, "Why don't you Death Joker that, you little prick?"

By this time, Reeve had recovered somewhat, and reached for his phone, but the woman turned toward him. "Oh, don't do that!" she irritably told him. "I did what I came to do, so now I'm leaving."

The strange woman then reached into her pocket and pulled out a folded piece of black paper. Without pausing to explain, she unfolded the paper until it took on the form of a large, dark circle, nearly six feet in diameter. She then walked toward the nearest wall, holding the circle in front of her, and pushed against the wall, where it stuck as if it had been glued there. By this time, Reeve had gotten to his feet and called for backup, but the woman seemed unconcerned. "I'll be gone by the time they get here, you know," she told him.

"How?"

Without another word, she gave Reeve a friendly wave and stepped into the circle, which had changed into a dark tunnel. Reeve started to chase her, but the tunnel quickly shrank as he approached it, and vanished completely, leaving him staring at a blank wall once the WRO soldiers arrived.

…

"Are you sure you weren't imagining things?" Yuffie asked sometime later.

Reeve gave the ninja a flat look, and then held up the cloak the mysterious woman left behind. "Does this look imaginary to you, Yuffie?" he replied.

"Maybe you put it in the room one day and forgot about it?" she suggested.

Reeve opened his mouth to argue, but quickly closed it again and shook his head. "Maybe I should just forget the whole thing," he sighed.

"You know what I think? I think this weird episode means you should take a vacation," Yuffie said, patting him on the shoulder. "You're long overdue for one, and Costa del Sol is always nice this time of year."

Reeve smiled tiredly. "Perhaps you're right," he replied, before looking forlornly down at Cait Sith. "At least the time off will let me repair the poor guy without more crazy women attacking me."_ "Hopefully…"_


End file.
